there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Are my feet made of real feet?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
