Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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