my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
