I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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