Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize