I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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