I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize