Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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