Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The air taste purple.
Randomize
