clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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