You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize