the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
