sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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