so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
