Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
