Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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