he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
