you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
