i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
