Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
