the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
