you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
