at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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