you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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