So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I want her autograph on my taint
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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