Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
