I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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