Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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