All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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