her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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