theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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