I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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