ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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