so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
