Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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