I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I love you. Go after that dick
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
