Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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