Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
