they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
last night I used snow as a chaser
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i out mim tonsoeep
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
