I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
