The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
