I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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