Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she looked like the before picture.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
