He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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