I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
