omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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