I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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