dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
