dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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