i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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