Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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