Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize