I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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