We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
