i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
