The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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