No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
