I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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