I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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