My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
