I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize