Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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